King Loko the Brute was preparing to defend his innocent people from the invading goblins. What his innocent people didn't know, however, was that The Brute had picked this fight. Things got too boring without a good head or two to lop off.
Godfrey had been a pig farmer his entire life. And his daddy before him, and his granddaddy before him. Maybe the smell of the pigs and their slop had finally got to him, because he up and volunteered for the wall guard. He was recruited into the archery brigade. They figured that his arms, chiseled from years of shoveling and pitchforking, could be put to use drawing back a bowstring.
Just in time too! A dreaded cowrider goblin broke through the forest and barrelled down towards the castle. Citizens wet themselves in fear at the awful braying of the creature. But Godfrey, with his first arrow of the battle, sent one right through the visor of the attacking goblin. From his vantage point atop the parapets, he also spied the new attacker, taking away the enemy's element of surprise.
As the battle waged on, the enemies got larger. A contingent of giant trolls had joined the goblins in battle and were now headed toward the keep. The King's own bodyguards, with the help of the village hero (who had once killed a bear with his bare hands), met these this new threat at the gate and cut them down.
A troll shaman stepped forward next, trying to use his devilish magic to destroy the city's peasants. Fortunately, the baker and another farmer distracted him with a bright pair of pink panties while Godfrey sent an arrow through his chest.
As the next troop neared the castle, Loko started to wonder if he had bit off more than he could chew. How many people's lives were worth sacrificing for his blood lust? A lot, apparently. So long as it wasn't his. Two gargantuan, gluttonous trolls, led by another shaman, pushed trees over as they entered into battle. But, by this point in the battle, Loko's forces were no slouches either. Using all of their training and special talents, they quickly defeated even these terrifying creatures.
Things were looking good for Loko's kingdom. They had picked up quite a few interesting tools and weapons from the endless hordes of enemies and were putting them to good use.
In a last ditch effort, the goblin army finally brought forth their best warriors and even their leaders to batter the gates. Each beast was more terrifying than the last. Even the horrendous (and yet, somehow, strangely seductive) troll queen entered the fray.
Loko's forces had an answer. An amazing mechanical golem, constructed by the kingdom's finest engineers, was put into play. It hadn't been tested yet, but the risk paid off. It was even more destructive than they had imagined. And of course, there was Godfrey, his agricultural life behind him, leading the troop of archers and firing arrow after arrow into the enemy line.
The forces for good had prevailed. The goblins and trolls retreated with their tails between their legs. But they would be back again - Loko wouldn't be able to resist aggravating them again.
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